Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
