Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You're a waste of cheezeits
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Is Oprah even human
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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