U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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