just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Even my vagina gasped.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
