one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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