I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
