I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
