Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
