Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
