Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
