should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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