Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
