dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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