Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
