Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
