just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
