i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
