dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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