Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
