They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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