I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
