He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
