In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
