I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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