should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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