I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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