i may or may not be watching the land before time
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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