his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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