I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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