at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
operation have a gay friend backfired
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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