Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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