Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
