i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
