dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
