I just pynch a tree in the face
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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