you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
