he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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