yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
