I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
