before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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