need another drink. this is the easiest way
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
