im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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