Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
