ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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