No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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