me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
