I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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