I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
