question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
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