I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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