He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
